This is a phase marked by burgeoning independence, overflowing energy and curiosity. Your child is learning about the world and actively investigating everything—laundry baskets and kitchen cupboards are all fair game.
Your toddler is gaining confidence at this age and will have particular ideas about what she wants to do. She has a goal in mind. She’s also imitating everyone she sees, especially everything you do. Words, actions and even household chores all become fascinating and something to be tried and repeated.
At this age, your child is also a sponge for language and is absorbing your words, even if you can’t understand the long, babbling sentences she is starting to use. It’s the time for Mom and Dad to talk out loud about everything as it is happening, showing and telling how things work. Your narration helps her learn about conversation, communication and what her world is all about.
You’ve probably heard of the “terrible twos.” In reality, they actually start before your child’s second birthday, and it’s not all that terrible if you understand what’s happening: There’s a big, frustrating gap between what your child wants to do and what she’s capable of and allowed to do. She also doesn’t understand what is a potential hazard or the value of your favorite vase, so when barriers are put in place, she will show her displeasure the only way she knows how—a tantrum.
P.S. Since your home is your toddler’s gymnasium, the challenge is to find or create spaces that don’t require saying “no” constantly. Arrange a play space free of breakable items, with carpet or a mat underfoot, and let your little one lead the way!
Your child may move beyond “Mama” and “Dada” and may speak and begin to be understood. She may point to something like a body part if you name it and can follow simple instructions, like “Give mommy the ball.” Asking her to get a toy that is out of your reach lets her show off how much language she understands—and also boosts her sense of independence. At this stage your toddler may also point to things, hoping you will supply the name for them.
P.S. Research shows that there is a huge range of what’s considered normal language development, and being the first toddler to talk isn’t correlated with any future school success. Your child may only have a couple of words and simple sentences at this point. And that’s okay. Remember that she can understand a lot more than she can say.
Now is the time for her to start seeing the difference in things. There can be both a gray and a white cat, and even though they look different, they are both cats! When she’s stacking blocks, she is beginning to learn that order can help her build a successful tower and that one block may be a different size than another. While your toddler is capable of following simple instructions, she is still some time away from reasoning. Telling her why she can or can’t do something is important, but know that her logic is very black and white at this time.
P.S.
Her fingers are getting more nimble now. She’ll delight in picking up small objects and exploring how they can be combined and manipulated. She can hold a crayon and scribble spontaneously, complete a puzzle more easily, and build a tower of four blocks or more (then happily knock them down). Covering and uncovering boxes and containers or putting pegs into holes are other activities that help develop hand skills and spatial concepts like “in,” “on,” or “under.” She also loves messy play: getting her fingers dirty when baking with you, or making mud pies outdoors. Messy play actually helps strengthen muscles in her fingers, preparing her to button her own sweater or hold a pencil in years to come.
P.S. Don’t think your child has aggressive tendencies because she knocks things down. She’s exploring her world. She knocks things down so she can rebuild them. And she needs to repeat that over and over to get the skill down. Of course, she doesn’t know she’s practicing skills; she’s just having fun.
She’s walking, running, climbing and jumping—once she starts she won’t want to stop! She can now stop to pick up a toy and carry it across the room, push or pull a toy wagon and throw a ball while walking. Climbing up and down stairs is another great adventure, but she’s still got to hold the banister carefully for support. And she’ll begin to jump—on the couch, the bed and wherever there is something to support her. Having her upper body supported helps her feet leave the ground. So if you don’t want your couch or bed jumped on, guide her to a similar spot where she can safely hop.
P.S. This is the time to thoroughly toddler-proof your house. She’s now much more aware of what other kids are doing and will want to imitate them. If it makes you nervous to see your toddler running and climbing, take a deep breath and trust that every toddler takes tumbles and bounces back up. Remember, they’re called toddlers for a reason.
Your little one is beginning to role-play and use her imagination. She’s learning that toys represent things—you might see her pick up a toy phone and begin to talk. She’s also at the point where she can pretend an object is something else, which is a breakthrough. Imaginative role-play helps her understand her world, and sparks new language development too.
P.S. Encourage your child to pretend, and play along when she does. Prepare to “eat” crackers made from blocks and “drink” from doll bottles.
“Imitation is a big part of the learning process at this age. Instead of simply manipulating household objects, your toddler will actually use a brush on her hair, babble into the phone, turn the steering wheel of her toy car, and push it back and forth.… Well before her second birthday, your toddler will excel at hiding games, remembering where hidden objects are long after they leave her sight.… As she masters hide-and-seek, she’ll also become more understanding about separations from you. Just as she knows that a hidden object is somewhere, even when she can’t see it, she’ll now recognize that you always come back, even when you’re away from her a whole day.”
— American Academy of Pediatrics, Steven P. Shelov, M.D., M.S., F.A.A.P., Caring For Your Baby and Young Child
“Play is an essential part of growing up. While a child plays freely, he satisfies his curiosity and finds out how to use objects; he learns to plan and classify; he begins to evaluate, predict, question, discover, draw conclusions, and solve problems; and he also learns how to interact with his peers and imitate the people around him. A child whose play is not controlled and channeled by adults… gains confidence through play and rarely has a fear of failure.”
—Robin Goldstein, Ph.D., The Parenting Bible: The Answer to Parents’ Most Common Questions
“For small children, there is no distinction between playing and learning, between the things that they do ‘just for fun’ and things that are ‘educational.’ Toys and other playthings are fun… but they are also tools for finding out about the world and acquiring grown-up skills.”
—Penelope Leach, Your Baby and Child: From Birth to Age Five
“My 23-month-old loves to ‘count.’ He skips 5 and 6 but otherwise counts pretty well. So, when it is time to clean up the toys, he proudly counts them as he puts them away. He'll also count blueberries as he eats them, a good motivator for eating a healthy snack.”
—Amy, Jersey City, NJ
“Our son's eyes light up when he plays with toys that respond with sound, music, or lights—anything that gives him predictable feedback. He swells with pride at his ability to generate the effect.”
—Mina, Reston, VA
”When my son is looking for fun, I find it a nice distraction to put him on the floor with some unopened cans, pots and pans, and a wooden spoon and let that energy clang its way out!”
—Amanda, Louisville, KY
“Our son's eyes light up when he plays with toys that respond with sound, music, or lights—anything that gives him predictable feedback. He swells with pride at his ability to generate the effect.”
—Mina, Reston, VA
”“My 2-year-old loves to color, blow bubbles, and run—a lot. She also loves to play make believe in her playhouse and wants to imitate her older sister, who is 6. She thinks she is older than 2.”
—Alice, Bethesda, MD