Your Child at Play: 3+ Years

Your child can now focus her attention for longer periods of time, making playtime more organized, and more focused on the activity at hand. At this age, children are all about pretend, and their dramatic play is all about being someone else, whether it’s the trash collector who came by that morning or the person who is going to cut her hair later that day.

Parallel play gives way to playtime with more social interaction. She and her friends will enjoy being led in boisterous imitation games, such as Follow the Leader and Simon Says.

As your 3-year-old’s coordination improves, she’ll enjoy catching, kicking and hitting balls. Once this dexterity combines with patience, she’ll be putting together simple puzzles and making shapes out of clay in no time.

Click here to choose another age or click below to learn more about:

orangebulletDEVELOPING PLAY SKILLS

orangebulletFAVORITE PLAYTHINGS

orangebulletWHAT EXPERTS SAY

orangebulletWHAT MOMS SAY

orangebulletPLAY STARTERS

DEVELOPING PLAY SKILLS

Social and Emotional Development:

You may stand back and marvel as your little one has her very first friends, and a schedule packed with play dates. Her self-confidence and independence have likely blossomed, but her ability to cooperate is still catching up. You may find that your child wants to do things her way, and is pretty certain that she’s right.

P.S. Prepare for lots of ups and downs on play dates. Conflicts—over a favorite toy or who gets to choose the next activity—are normal and to be expected at this age. But that doesn’t make handling them any easier. Be sure to keep an eye on the little ones throughout their play date so you’ll know when they’re able to work things out, and when you need to step in with a clever distraction or a bit of soothing for both children.

Language:

Your child now has enough of a vocabulary that she can ask for what she wants. She can ask “why” and “how” and “when,” and she will, quite often. Silly rhymes are one way she will experiment with new words. When introducing larger words, try to use them in context, which introduces them to her and clarifies their meaning. This helps her grow her vocabulary every day.
 P.S. Even though her language skills are more advanced, she may not be able to use her words under stress or when she’s in trouble. There will still be tears and tantrums, and it will be a while until she can rely on words alone. Also, tune in to those “why” questions. Sometimes, especially if you don’t know the answer, it’s an opportunity to look it up together and share your enthusiasm for learning something new. Other times, your child may merely want to prolong her interaction with you. Either way, try to find ways to encourage her curiosity and engage her.

purplebulletFine Motor Skills:

Her fine motor skills have improved to the point that she may confidently (and quickly) pop puzzle pieces in place and skillfully manipulate clay. Also, her block towers are getting higher and more elaborate now.
 P.S. You’ll start to see a strong preference for left- or right-handedness beginning to show at this time. Whatever you see emerge, just let it be. Pediatricians and lefties alike will tell you that you can’t change nature.

purplebulletGross Motor Skills:

This is the age of the tricycle! She has mastered the idea of pushing one foot and then the other to propel herself, and there’s no stopping her. Climbing, running and dancing are all a source of great joy. Make sure you visit jungle gyms and play structures where she can hang by her hands and swing around (so she’ll be less tempted to swing from towel bars and tables at home). Children are also beginning to develop more complex movements like galloping, hopping and skipping now. At first, her coordination will seem hit or miss, but over time and with practice it will improve.
 P.S. Even though she’s more physically skilled and emotionally independent now, she still needs you to help her understand her limits. Keep an eye on her during playtime, and let her know if she’s doing something that’s unsafe. If she’s in the mood for something new, steer her toward dramatic play that can help her be more physical. Make up a story about a mountain climber and act it out together at the playground.

purplebulletImagination:

In her pretend world, he is now often somebody else. Visiting and then acting out an upcoming visit to his new preschool or to the doctor is one way to work through new or scary situations. Be prepared to meet an imaginary friend or two.
 P.S. Many 3-year-olds have imaginary friends. If your preschooler has one, know that the phase usually lasts for a few months. Her imaginary friend is a tool she’s using to figure out her emotions. For example, she might make the friend the scapegoat when she does something wrong to test rules and limits. If this happens, take a middle ground and say, “We need to fix this, but if you want to have your friend help us, that’s okay.”

purplebulletCreativity:

Now that she can confidently grasp a crayon, her drawings are more complex. She may be attempting to draw shapes, including circles, crosses and rectangles. Stick figures gain bodies and facial features. (Interestingly children’s self portraits often have a lot of detail at the top of the body and less further down, which mirrors how their own muscles develop.) By 4, she may draw people with hair on their heads and shoes on their feet. When she shows you her finished masterpiece, ask her to tell you about it; point out specific features, and you’ll get a good idea of what’s on her mind.
 P.S. Remember, there are no wrong answers in art. It’s okay that her dog is purple. And don’t forget to encourage making music, building things and other creative endeavors. If your child is not interested in drawing yet, that’s okay too. She is probably more interested in moving and developing all those important muscles that will one day help her hold a crayon or pencil. Offer crayons and markers, but leave it up to the child to choose if she wants to draw.

purplebulletCognitive Skills:

Your preschooler is laying the foundation for future learning—from counting to learning symbols and letters and figuring out how to solve problems on her own.
 P.S. Be gentle in correcting her now. She’ll be in a classroom soon enough. Kindergarten readiness is more about having good social skills than reading and counting.

purplebulletProblem-solving:

THer wagon is stuck in the mud, but what might have been a frustration at age 2 is now, at 3 or 4, a challenging game. Let her push, pull and rock it. When she finally gets it out, she can boast about what a good thinker she is!
 P.S. At this stage she may be able to think of more than two things at one time, which is key to “trial and error” problem-solving. As she tests different solutions to her problem, resist the sudden urge to help. She can endure some frustration now. Let her do it herself and see what happens.

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FAVORITE PLAYTHINGS
  • Toys that help build gross motor skills: Tricycles, jungle gyms and play structures, bats and balls, games involving physical exertion, safe water toys
  • Toys that stimulate creativity: Markers, paints and clay, glue and safety scissors, PLAY-DOH compound, masks, dress-up clothes, magic wands, action-hero characters
  • Toys that help build fine motor skills: Puzzles, crayons, small blocks, interactive games , oversized beads and string, dolls with clothes for dressing, toys with parts that can be rearranged or turned into something else, small toy cars and trucks with parts that open and close
  • Toys that help build cognitive skills: Interlocking blocks, interactive games
  • Toys that stimulate emotional development: Dolls, stuffed animals
  • Toys that help build sharing and social skills: Balls and bats, musical instruments, board games, cooperative games
  • Toys that help build language: Picture books, puppets, interactive games, role-play toys
  • Toys that stimulate imagination: Play sets, such as pretend kitchens or stores; action figures; role-play toys that model real life
  • Toys that help build problem-solving skills: Interlocking puzzles, playing cards, board games
  • Toys that let kids express their silly side: Story and poetry books with rhymes, talking toys, musical toys
  • See a full list of age-appropriate Playskool toys here.

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WHAT EXPERTS SAY

“If adults provide space, equipment, time and companionship for play, young children see to the development of their thinking for themselves. Your child is a scientist and inventor; too much teaching robs him of that role. Your job is only to make sure he has laboratories, research facilities and an assistant when he needs one.”
—Penelope Leach, Your Baby and Child: From Birth to Age Five

“The playground is often a child’s first venture into the wide, wide world. Here, children learn from and about other children, about each other’s individuality.… The chance to play with and to model on the peer’s reactions and styles of learning offers the opportunity for learning about oneself.”
—T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua D. Sparrow, M.D., Touchpoints Three to Six

“For the most part, children are now more interested in each other than in any particular activity. A group working around the clay table may watch each other with interest…. Or, a child calls the attention of others to what he has made, instead of merely showing it to an adult, as earlier.”
—Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D., and Frances L. Ilg, M.D., Your Three-Year-Old

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WHAT MOMS SAY

”My 4 ½-year-old twins just fell in love with ‘making mixtures.’ I give them a big bowl and let them tell me what they want to mix up. One son mixed orange juice, water, soap and baking powder…and it kept him happy for 30 minutes. Then I gave him some olive oil, so he could see how the oil formed ‘bubbles.’ We also made lava lamp mixtures…oil and water in a plastic water bottle, some food coloring and Alka Seltzer. That made them happy for more than an hour. We started a science observation notebook, where I ask them questions about their mixtures, and what they do, and we write them down.”
—Christine, Palo Alto, CA

”I played a lot of memory games with my daughter when she was 4 and 5. I would place cards face down, then flip them over two at a time to find a match. She had a lot of fun, and her memory now is as sharp as a tack!”
—Susan, Maplewood, NJ

”My 3- and 4-year-olds love playing with magnetic letters and numbers. I put them on the front of our refrigerator and they make words while I make dinner.”
—Christen, Lakeland, FL

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PLAY STARTERS

Read aloud:

Your child may now sit for longer periods of time listening to a story. Enhance the experience by stopping from time to time to ask him questions about the story, like “What do you think will happen next?” or “Wouldn’t it be funny if…?” Let her ask questions as well. At this age, interruptions aren’t rude. There is real curiosity, and your answers can lead you both to amazing conversations!

  • Your child can become a storyteller now. Take turns telling one together.
  • As she is exposed to letters and words, she will begin to learn about the alphabet. Try not to push her to learn words, which can make it feel like a chore. There is plenty of time for that to happen.
  • Take turns filling in any phrase repeated in the story.

What time is it?

Your preschooler is beginning to learn about time by grasping the difference between “morning,” “afternoon” and “night.” The more experience your preschooler gets hearing and using these words, the more easily this understanding will develop.

  • Put the timer on when baking cookies together so she can begin to feel the passage of time.
  • Create a chart of your child’s daily routine (playgroup, library, nap, visit with Grandma and Grandpa) so your child can “see” how her day progresses.
  • Start a scrapbook for the year. As you add to the book with your child, you can discuss timely events such as holidays and seasons.
  • At dinner time or bedtime, review your day with her. Talking about a sequence of events helps reinforce what came before and after.
  • Show her an analog clock and watch the hands turn, or make one together and show her how time changes throughout the day. (Breakfast time, nap time, dinner time, etc.)
  • Count the “bedtimes” until important events happen. Activities like this will help her learn that everything does not happen in the present.

Make a collage:

Grab a stack of magazines, some safety scissors and a glue stick. Pick a subject (animals, flowers, food) and let her cut out pictures to make her own artwork. Messiness is part of the learning process! The act of dabbing on glue and placing images in a collage will help improve her newly acquired fine motor skills.

  • Collages can be made with other materials, such as scraps of felt and yarn, or stickers and glitter.
  • You could also try working with items of the same color, shape or size.
  • Give your child a chance to express her emotions by creating a mood collage. Find pictures of faces together that convey a particular mood.
  • Make a hanging collage by attaching string to shapes and draping them from a hanger.

Hop, skip, jump:

This is a great time to help your increasingly coordinated kiddo become surer on her feet. Of course, her motor skills are way ahead of her judgment, so keep a sharp eye wherever you go.

  • Set up a “Preschool Triathlon” course that allows your child and friends to try out activities such as hopping on one foot, kicking a ball and jumping.
  • Make a circuit in your yard with things she can run and skip around, swing on and climb.
  • Play games that have simple instructions, such as “Mother, May I?” and “Red Light, Green Light.”
  • Let her push your grocery cart, and ask her to choose items—unbreakable!—to put in the cart.

Let’s put on a show:

As children grow, their imaginary play becomes less rooted in real life and more about fantasy. A piece of cloth can be a superhero’s cape or a dark cave. Preschoolers are great storytellers; let yours act out a story for you!

  • A box of old hats, gloves, scrap fabrics and shoes will spark your preschooler’s imagination.
  • Even a walk in the park is an opportunity to pretend: She can be a jungle explorer looking for rare plants or animals.

Keep it moving:

Kids are natural bundles of energy, but sometimes they need encouragement to get outside and move around. The emphasis at this age should be on playfulness and exploration, not skill development or competition. Join in, whatever the activity and the weather, to encourage family fitness.

  • Keep basic play equipment such as balls and jump ropes in a place where the kids will see them. Easier access means they will be more likely to use them.
  • Have a push, pull, pedal parade! Let the kids plan the route, and decorate their bikes, wagons and toy cars. Encourage them to go around a few times.
  • Sign up your little one for a dance class, gymnastics, or a sports activity that encourages parental participation. Tackle new physical challenges together and have a blast.
  • Suggest that your preschooler act out her favorite TV character or show while she’s watching. She’ll keep moving, and will have fun feeling like she’s really part of the action.
  • Have a rain coat and boots handy. Kids need to let off steam whatever the weather. Jumping in rain puddles, dropping an autumn leaf in some flowing water and following where it goes are fun ways to spend time outdoors together on a rainy day.
  • Kids don’t need flashy equipment. If there is a hill in your neighborhood, your child may enjoy spending hours rolling down a hill. Rolling is one of the best movements to help her develop balance.
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